Tiny little people in tiny little boxes

 

Next month I move out of my tiny studio flat and into a new flat with my boyfriend. Tiny studio doesn't in fact do this place justice, it's a room, a box that I've somehow survived in for nearly a year. Having been to uni I've gotten accustomed to bouncing around, calling various places home. It's still a strange feeling though, to have settled into a place and then for your mind and body to need to leave. I'm not particularly fond of this place, it's small and smelly and has many faults. It's still a place I lived in for a year and whether I like it or not, I've placed emotional significance onto this flat. 

Human beings are inherently sentimental, even without trying to be. As the weeks go by and our move out date is nearing scarily closer, I'm finding myself getting emotional, overly attached and sentimental. This was my first flat after uni and my first place all by myself, I lived here completely alone for five months (and then my boyfriend tagged along). Regardless of personal prejudices, it's still difficult parting with a place you've lived in. Once we set down our caps (figuratively) and make a home somewhere, that place takes a part of us along with it. For many personal and some private reasons, this place holds a significance to me. The funny thing though is that in twenty years I may have forgotten all of the things that make this place special. We're all constantly moving forward, changing and growing. Even two years ago I was living at home after uni, a bit sad and lost, locked down in a rural village. Now I'm living in Brighton with the love of my life, working, reading, writing and doing things I never had the courage to do. The point is, these places that we call home are really just watching us, they're here for us when we need them. They give us safe spaces to lay our heads and they watch as we grow and change and live our lives. The many places we travel through in our lives, the various bedrooms we sleep in and kitchens we cook dinner in, are pit stops, places to check in on our long and sometimes bumpy journey. 

I also think it's important to be sentimental sometimes. I've been guilty in the past of taking the piss of my brother for being too sentimental, but I actually think it's brave to place such sentiment on things. It's vulnerable and scary to add emotion and sentiment to objects, places etc. To feel things that strongly, that you can't help but feel it in objects and places, that shows a kindness, emotional intelligence and sensitivity that not many people can boast of having. It's human after all to feel things, to crave emotion and be overwhelmed by it. Life is hard and scary and often society is trying so intently to knock that emotion and humanity out of us, to desensitise us. But humans were meant to feel this wide, huge spectrum of emotion, we're sentimental and goofy and kind and headstrong by nature. Often in such a selfish and greedy society, we're persuaded against sentimentality but kind, good people will remind you why it's so important. Without sentiment and heart, objects are just that, objects. Places, objects people will all remain stagnant and bland, they serve purposes, they break and they get disposed of. What a robotic way of existing! Humans write love letters and keep birthday cards and items of clothing all because of the feeling they get when they pick it up, the memory that object resurfaces in your mind. That item can act as a time capsule, a journey back in time. So sentimentality is important, if not only because it teaches us to treasure memories, emotions and relationships which are the cornerstones of being human. 

So, yes I'm moving house and it's making me reminisce. It might not be productive to reminisce at 24, I suppose I've barely lived yet. But no matter how long you've lived in a place, and how much you think it meant to you- allow yourself to get sentimental, keep things that make you happy and teach yourself to cherish the wide range of complicated emotions that may arise. Life and crummy studio flats aren't perfect, but one day they'll be gone and there are things you have right now that you used to want, so let yourself look around your room and get emotional by what you see. 

Molly, 

xx

                          Photo credit: Cabin Lighthouse - Imaginary room illustration (OC) Reddit