Mental Health Update- what's been happening?

I felt like doing an update because for a while i kept talking about my mental health experiences as if they were past tense, something that had happened and was now over. I wish that was the case but unfortunately depression and anxiety are things i experience everyday. More so than usual, the last few months have been tough. So where did i leave off?

September

This month was exciting and scary. Full of lots of new experiences, for example starting University. It was all a bit overwhelming, a roller coaster ride with a million different loops, twists and turns. My mental health was generally okay this month. The first part of the month was emotional, lots of spontaneous bursting into tears because of missing my mum and my dog. But i got over it and quickly got into the swing of university life. I'd say my anxiety was more present this month than depression. I found myself getting anxious way more than depressed

October

I think i started to feel depressed again, felt myself starting to fall back into old bad habits. But denied it. I told myself i was fine and spent the month pretending i wasn't feeling depressed. It was overall an okay month, some good things and some bad. But generally i felt very low and didn't speak about it to anyone

November

This month was bad. Just bad. Just straight up, no need to sugar coat it, bad. Laughable even. Every little thing that could have gone wrong did. I started getting severe allergic reactions randomly, breaking out into painful rashes, falling out with friends, falling behind on deadlines and my laptop broke. Just a bad and very scary month full of tears and low, flat days spent in bed eating BBQ beef hoola hoops. This month was the turning point with my depression, not in a good way. The depression just got really bad. I hate being too morose but worse than i'd ever experienced. I began to iscolate myself, blame myself and generally break a bit. It was weird and i hated feeling like this again

December

After the car crash that was November, i knew i needed to do something. I was just feeling the lowest i'd ever felt and i figured something needed to change. So i made several GP appointments and have been put onto Antidepressants. This is a scary step for me, scary because i don't know how well this medication will affect me, don't know how i'll feel. But i'm so proud of myself for taking this step forward and seeking help. I'm taking them everyday and have been since the 2nd of the month. We'll see how it goes 

In general i'm feeling positive, i've come home for Christmas. Excited to spend time with friends and family. Hoping to move past this depressive period and look to brighter near futures. I appreciate all of the support i've been given and hope to feel better soon 

Molly

xxx