Learning to pick your battles

I've always been a fire ball, passionate and so full of conviction I'm fit to burst. I was a larger than life child, full of laughter and chatter, I kept my resting voice pitch at what's professionally known as 'very fucking loud' and all that passion turned to angst as a teenager, as it so often does. But in the last year, I've learnt a lot about picking your battles and understanding which situations require a reaction. I've learnt, when it's needed of me to shout, and when it's necessary for me to be quiet.

I finally understand that all growing up really means, is that you finally realise which situations in your life actually require you to respond and which don't. Some arguments with certain people have no purpose other than to release tension. When arguing you have to consider if you're arguing for the sake of arguing, or you're actually trying to resolve a problem. Some people in my life are so close to me and our relationships are so strong that I know during any argument, we will make it through, so i fight hard in the argument to keep that person close. To work through our problems to end up at the resolve.

But some friendships in my past and present, cannot remain strong under the criticism of an argument. They crumble at the first sign of problems, and in this circumstance I understand when arguing and shouting is no longer necessary.

I fully believe in standing up and using your voice, your privilege and stance in life to make a difference. I use platforms online and in real life to voice my opinions because I believe it's a healthy way of expressing yourself and changing the world. But there are some situations, maybe when interacting with bigoted relatives, or other people so set in their ways they'll never move, in which you realise your voice will actually cause more damage than good.

Essentially it's about asking yourself how this argument will end. If you truly believe that this argument will end in some sort of problem solving conclusion then keep going. But if you truly admit that this argument will end in hurt and anger, no resolutions but further division, ask yourself if it is worth it. Trust your gut instinct and understand that not every silly comment you hear requires a reaction, not every ounce of anger inside you needs to be released at someone like a bullet from a gun.

Speak soon,

Molly
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