I'll always be a messy person

As much as i wish, one day i would burst from my cocoon a beautiful together butterfly, with neat hair and a clue, it's pretty much never going to happen. Even on my most together days, the days with clean styled hair and crisp makeup and even clean jeans on, i'm still a messy person and in many ways i will always be.

Even as a child i was messier than most. Whilst most kids would get a bit of chocolate on their cheek and their mums would lovingly wipe it off 'Silly boy!' I vividly remember my mum having to wash chocolate sauce from my eyebrows and lashes. I just don't seem to be able to stay neat and tidy for very long. At prom in my gorgeous gown, i went to the buffet and spilled oily potatoes on my dress. I know that at my wedding i'll end up doing something to my dress. I'm very clumsy. But not even just that, i was raised in a household that never punished being messy.

As much as my mum detests living in such a messy and chaotic house, pretty early on she accepted that it was inevitable. With a messy chaotic 4 year old and twin babies, she soon realised that mess was something she'd have to put up with. And the thing is, mess, was never something we were punished for as children. Our parents wanted me and my brothers to have the most fulfilling, nurturing and exciting childhoods that we could have. And so we would play outside in the mud, build forts from the sofas insides and run through rivers without consequence. They wanted us to be happy and we always were.

But as a result, i've grown up surrounded by mess and i kind of love it. It's just what i'm used to. I've come to accept that whilst women who are neat and clean are incredibly admirable and very beautiful, i will just never be like that. My hair will always wake up frizzy and cave woman ish, my brows will always be unruly and my clothes will probably always end up getting mysterious stains. I could spend time worrying about it, trying to be a more put together person, but there's no point. I am who i am and i love it. Some may even find it charming. I said some, i mean most probably won't. But i've learnt to not try and shrink yourself to fit into a certain ideal or box. Other people may want me to be tidy, but i choose to be myself, who is very very messy.

Speak soon,

Molly
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