Moving out of home for the first time

At the end of a long and winding road, stands number 47. Rather small and squashed between two other houses, but still it stands proudly. It's bold red door glimmers in the sunlight and peeking into the windows you see old, worn deep red furniture, looking particularly sat on. The house is old and tatty, but it's home. Soft and comforting, like a warm towel after a rain storm. At least for me, that's my house and in two weeks i will be leaving it. 

That's dramatic and in true writer style, a little embellished. Yes i am leaving, but not forever don't worry. But as i'm existing in a world of packing and sorting at the moment, i'm becoming increasingly reminiscent of this little house around me. I can't even remember if i updated the blog on which University i'm going to but it's BATH SPA!! I got in to my top choice uni and i couldn't be more excited, i'm going there to study a single honors degree in Creative Writing aka my biggest passion and i am over the moon. But even though i am incredibly excited and cannot wait to start this new adventure, i'm also very aware that i will be leaving the house that i grew up in, the house i spoke my first words in and the home i first learnt to walk in. It's not going to be easy leaving you number 47.

My parents moved into this house a month before me and my twin brother were born, they moved from Exeter to Feniton in February 1998 and a month later, we were born. So essentially, this house is all i've ever known. Obviously i didn't just spend my entire childhood in the house, i went outside sometimes! But in terms of living arrangements, this house is the only place i've ever lived in. As of the 23rd of September that will no longer be true. I'll be living in a flat, in bath, in a totally different county and place. With new views and brand new people, new smells and different tasting water.

I know i'm being dramatic but i just can't really believe it's happening, packing up my little childhood room just feels overwhelming and surreal! I'm such a dreamer, usually sat somewhere with my head in the clouds, i love travelling and want to live a full, rich life in which i see every corner of the earth possible. But right now, i am just this little country bumpkin, nineteen year old girl, trapped living in the same place. The idea that i'm leaving in a few weeks fills me with so much excitement but also pure dread.

Last year i got to watch as most of my close friends and my brother all jetted off to their various different universities, leaving me, still stuck here in Devon alone. When they all came back at Christmas and half term, i was so envious. They had all grown so much and i could smell the adventures they'd had, seeping off their skin. I so wanted that, wanted to have built a life, networks of friends and fun somewhere else, wanted to be able to come back and gloat that i had been having so much fun, i completely forgot about little old Devon. And finally, in two weeks it's my turn!

As much as i love my home, love my parents and family and the little life we have here in East Devon, it can be at times very suffocating. I'm so grateful i got to grow up in the countryside, we got to live in such a beautiful part of the world. But in the past year i haven't been able to get the thought out of my mind; is this it? I'm young and have so much of life ahead of me, i'm bored of living in the same place. Bored of mundane routines and ordinary life. I want to meet a myriad of people, experience culture that is rich and full bodied. I want to meet people from all backgrounds, of all faiths and races and sexualities. I want to be shaped by these different and exciting people and experiences. I want to grow and change as much as i possibly can. And i can't do that here. Some people can, but for me i just need to spread my wings and experience all that life has to offer. Somewhere else.

It's going to be emotional, weird going on a car journey and not coming back with my mum. But i know that this is going to be so good for me, i need this. I'm in many ways drowning living here still and in a new city, surrounded by new people i can finally swim up to the surface and breathe again.

Speak soon,
Molly
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